What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
11.06.2025 02:15
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
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Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
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Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
Make Nazis afraid again!
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Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
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Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Isn't it a turn on to have sex with a girl in a skirt or in a tight spandex?
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
What does pompano fish taste like?
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
Why does a straight man like anal penetration?
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
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In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
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